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View Count: 94 |  Publish Date: April 07, 2014
Hot time in the old truck tomorrow

As to sex, just how quickly that word got your attention is relevant here. The distinguished counterculture publisher Ron Turner e-mailed that hes hoping to take artist Spy Emersons Hook-Up Truck to Comic-Con in San Diego this summer. Turner sent links to reports a few days old - in/on the Daily Mail, SF Weekly, Radio Alice, Medical Daily, Huffington Post and more - about a vehicle described on its website as a modern dating solution for safe sexual adventuring. A bonking venue. This car service, says the site, is like a mobile hotel room available for short-term rentals accommodating intimate relations.
Most of the reports were in the present tense. The truck is already causing quite a stir on the streets of San Francisco, said the Medical Daily. The deed is done in a private room, and complimentary birth control and STD preventatives are included. All these stories included the rental fees: $75 for a half hour, parked; a package for five hours that includes staff and cleaning crew costs $2,500.
When I asked Emerson where its been and whos been using the truck, she said that it doesnt yet exist. She said her crack team of fabricators and builders is at work on an 8-by-8-foot room to be lowered onto a truck, but exactly which truck is not yet determined, and although the current plan is to launch the thing on May 2, for the First Friday Art Walk in Oakland, as to the conveying vehicle, Were not sure what we will end up with.
So the causing quite a stir must refer to the Net itself. Emerson dreamed up the concept a few months ago, and had little luck finding investors. Then she organized a test of whether people were comfortable enough to be able to function, in a borrowed 16-foot truck. She invited friends who are amorous and capable and willing to try something, to hook up in different combinations (two people who knew each other, and two who didnt, a couple of different demographics). No problem, they found, so she put up a website.
Within an hour of her site going up, the Web started taking this so fast and making it such a big deal. She heard from potential customers (including a husband who wants to rent it for his wifes anniversary surprise), she heard from backers, and she even heard from a couple of production companies interested in turning it into a show.
For 23 years, Emerson says, she has been an independent artist, just kind of a clever girl who doesnt know much about business. I couldnt get the money from the investors, so I went ahead and did it this way. As to the publicity predating the launch, in fact the truck did exist because we did do it, during the tryout, she says. But I expect to have it working within a month.
Right now, shes talking to a lot of sexperts about the design of the room. What I imagine is something that is superfunctional, really easy to keep clean. ... I dont want people hanging around, and that means shes not envisioning the truck as a place for cuddling, booze or drugs. Not even Scrabble.
The room is designed for sex by two people with average-size bodies. As to threesomes, she said, after a seconds hesitation, shed probably charge extra for an extra person. Does a masturbator get a discount? A discount will be offered by a barker at the Folsom Street Fair, she says: $20 back for couples who can complete their activities in 10 minutes or less.
I hope you see how much fun this is. ... This is a positive thing; its empowering, its safe.
P.S.: In the first section of the New York Times on Tuesday, there was an ad for a Singles Trip to Israel, sponsored by the Jewish National Fund and JDate. Over a picture of two camels with their necks intertwined was the question, One hump or two? Which I guess is to give the potential traveler an idea of the trip activities.
Having cleaned up for spring, Lynka Adams went to Recology to get rid of stuff she couldnt donate to charity. She thought that dumping it would cost about $25, but the cashier said the fee would be $100.
What? We were horrified. But this being San Francisco, where the price of living goes up by the minute, we reached for a credit card. And then the cashier said, April Fools! (This has nothing to do with the first item above; thats completely serious.)Public Eavesdropping
They released two doves. And a seagull and a crow attacked them.
Harsh realities of life in the Bay Area, guy to gal, overheard on Grand Avenue in Oakland by Mary Bush
Open for business in San Francisco, (415) 777-8426. E-mail: lgarchik@sfchronicle.com Twitter: @leahgarchik

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Time: 0:18  |  News Code: 396489  |  Site: San Francisco Chronicle
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